It's a culture thing

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I got into a discussion last Monday with a friend and the discussion was based on something she had seen online and her reaction to it. She was defensive when the discussion started and we had to go over and over until I was able to at least make her go back and question what has made her come to such an awful generalization. I was not satisfied with the outcome of the discussion because we had the same material but we were reaching a conflicting outcome. So I decided to put myself in her shoes and try to take a step back with what I know and see how she got to her standpoint. In doing that, I had this thought, maybe it is because of the culture because if we flip things or try to compare it with other similar situations, the issues are going to be reversed and the conflict might not exist.
I decided to test my theory and sent a message to someone I hold in high esteem. I asked the exact question that led to my prior discussion but I added the phrase, it's a culture thing, right? I never got an answer and I believe I was blocked. And yes, it was a very sensitive matter.

You are probably like what do I mean exactly by it's a culture thing, or you are wondering what the sensitive matter is, let me get right into that.

So what is culture?
    From social studies, one of the things we were taught is this, culture is a way of life.  This definition is somewhat not enough for me, so I went online to find out what it is. So culture has three divergent meanings; a process of individual enrichment, a group's particular way of life and as an activity, pursued by various means.

Culture then is not rigid, it is a lot of things. The first meaning, portray the way a person acts or behaves and that is when we say someone is cultured. This is subjective to what the particular culture is meant to be, and that is the second meaning. Let me explain. As a Yoruba lady, it is expected for me to greet my elders on my knees, be in charge of the home, so things like cooking, cleaning and every aspect of homemaking is expected. So if I practice that, I would be called a cultured lady, and if I do not, I am uncultured. I would take it a step further and paint a different picture. As a student, I am supposed to be punctual, respect authority and this is a culture expected from a good student.

The third meaning of culture is something that is seen in activities like in movies and now you hear stuff like pop culture or the social media and you know of the culture of pulling others down or defending others and there is the book culture, reading culture and maybe the bad connotation of culture like rape culture.

If I have not succeeded in confusing you
    I believe that culture is the biggest influence on the human mind. I almost named this 'the sinkhole of influence' because when there is an interaction or an interpretation of practically everything going on, it boils down to the person's set of beliefs, values, communication and also how we comprehend things. This is because culture has both the material and the non-material aspect. So, therefore, culture is made up of our knowledge, common sense, assumptions and expectations. It is also the rules, norms, laws and morals that govern the society, it is the way we interpret our religion, our worldview and because it extremely vast and humans are extremely different we are bound to have conflicting cultures, and you would understand what I felt when we had conflicting outcomes from the same material.

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To find the input, reverse the output
    So, everyone's action is a result of their culture. Influence over the years are subtle and majorly subconscious, and we may never pay attention to it. Therefore, what we see at the end of the day is an output. An output of all the thought, the words we heard, the things we see, what we have been taught, what we subscribe to, what is acceptable in our society, what is not, what is trivial, what is serious, and maybe most importantly why people refuse to mind their business.  And to solve any problem, you have to get to the root cause of it. This would take you learning how to walk in another person's shoe and connecting with their humanity.
 
One thing about culture is that it is subject to change, like almost everything in the world.  People tend to abolish cultures they find disadvantageous or detrimental to them and in Ella's words, 
Culture evolves slowly because once it doesn't affect them in any way they care less about it, not minding if it causes harm to any small group of people. Ignorance, the refusal to learn new things that will be more beneficial, oppose change.
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Out with the old, in with the new?!
      It is impossible to call for a total overhaul of the existing culture. It would be the toughest thing to do because it used to work at one point in time, how effective might be questionable, there would always be people that would prove to you that it should remain the same. But the thing with culture is that it should not become obsolete, irrelevant or uncalled for. It should be fair to everyone and it should always connect to humanity. The existing culture is beautiful in so many ways, from the food to the system, but it doesn't favour individuality. A new culture is even more dangerous because there is a high chance it could make the same mistake the existing one has. 

Instead, there is one thing we can do and that is improving. I believe that the change you want to see in the world begins with you as an individual. So if culture is the biggest influence on the human mind, then you have to become aware of what they are and improve them.

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Culture Version 2.0 Requirement
On the way to improving your culture, here are the basic things I believe you might need to know
  • Ask Questions, seek answers. If you don't want to repeat the past, if you are looking for the reason why, if you want to change the system, then you have to be ready to ask questions. It allows you to learn, and be more effective in bringing about change. And for all the questions nobody is willing to answer, you would have to seek the answers yourself. 
  • Study. It takes more than just reading or talking, it takes studying. You would need to know why, understand the facts, learn from experience, be able to decipher the truth and see through the deceit. To connect to humanity, you have to understand where they are coming from and walk a mile or two in uncomfortable shoes, you would need to study and learn. 
  • Principles vs. Opinions. Principles are the fundamental and guiding belief. They are true and they withstand the test of time, principles are forever. Learn the principles of everything you can and hold on to them. Opinions are subject to change and are not trustworthy. Where you learn your principles from is also important so be careful, I would recommend the Bible, just be sure that you are actually studying it. 
  • Treat everything you come across the way you would want to be treated and for that to happen, you would have to love yourself first and learn to treat yourself well.
  • Think for your own thought, don't let others do it for you. 
  • Make mistakes, not compromises.
  • You might have to take a path less walked, but no worries it is ok not to conform.
  • Learn and have good values, and always be willing to learn.
The most important one, because of pop culture and social media, maybe this would help you deal with the need to always criticize people.
Your heroes are human, not perfect, so they are going to make mistakes.
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The best culture would be a culture where you can be the best version of yourself with no opposition because the culture itself is the best version it can be, perfect for its time and perfect for the individuals that are under its sphere of influence. After all, it is a culture thing.

What do you think I miss or did not get quite right? And for the topic that started the discussion, it would be the story of another day. I would love to hear from you, so leave a comment or sent a message to theestherian@gmail.com
Do have a great week.

The Estherian



Comments

  1. Wow, brilliant. You are not even a sociologist and are this smart. Love it. Yh the last part culture itself is the best version it can be. Super nice

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you.
      Maybe I will study sociology.🤔

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