Book Review: Relationship Goals

jlow(@FromLowPlaces)
source: Twitter

Title: Relationship Goals: How to win at dating, marriage and sex.

Author: Michael Todd

Publisher: Waterbrook, an imprint of Random House, a division of Penguin Random House LLC, US.

Ebook ISBN: 978059593192580

Hardcover ISBN: 9780593192573

Tags: relationship book, Christianity, dating, marriage, interpersonal relationship 

Micheal Todd is the Lead Pastor of the Transformation Church and I learnt of him from a popular online series 'Relationship goals'. This year, he announced his new book relationship goals which was gifted to me by a friend. She was talking about having a guide for dating and relationship for Christians and anyone tired of the burn out that accompanies the way relationships are. She recommended two books; Boy Meets Girl: Say Hello to Courtship and Relationship Goals. So I am going to share my thoughts on and nuggets from the book in hopes that you read this book. I must say, most of the stuff in this book would only make much sense if you are a Christian, that is someone willing to live outside the norms and culture of this world and whose life and principles are based on the bible and the word of God. Let's get started.

Taking Aim

There's more to relationships than what pop culture has taught us or our own imaginings have dreamed up.

 The first chapter of the book is an introduction to the author, Micheal Todd, and the reason for the book. Mike Todd (the author) tells us about himself by creating a timeline with really adorable pictures of his life and his family and he explained how clueless we are becoming when it comes to relationship and how the church that is supposed to be the guide is slacking behind. He mentions the only rule he heard and I am sure you would nod along with, 'Don't have sex until you get married.' 

The fact the church shied away from teaching about relationship makes us learn from other sources. He decided to write this book as a guide and remedy to the present situation with the promise to keep it real. The most beautiful words that I have come to associate with is mentioned here, 'progression, not perfection'

Before the person

If we don't have a constant source in God, we will always be deficient.

The second chapter reveals the beginning of relationships everywhere and the perfect example of relationships. Understanding the trinity, the first relationship, makes us understand what our relationship goal is supposed to be like and also let us know that our ultimate relationship goal is a relationship with God. 

Before the person, Mike Todd lets us know that you need to have a purpose. Since God reveals purpose to us bit by bit, we need to get closer to God so that he would help us with our purpose and also bring the right person for our purpose to us. 

He concludes the chapter by explaining the romantic relationship progression which is Singleness →Dating → Engagement→ Marriage →Love →Children.

The S-word

Sync up with God's sequence: Love God and build relationship with him, love yourself and embrace your singleness and then love others. 

Mike Todd placed the S-word 'single' under the spotlight. He goes on to explain what it means and why it is important. He explains with the phrase 'single and under construction' what singleness is for, that is a time to invest, imagine and inspire. This would help to reset ourselves (all the singles) to an understanding of the season of singleness, appreciate it and not just jump out to date or be in such a hurry to get married.

Source: Pinterest

Intentional dating 

Don't be in a hurry to commit your mind, heart or body to another person. 

Yes, you read it right. This chapter draws a comparison between how we date now and offers a much better alternative on how we should date, which Mike Todd refers to as Intentional dating as against the regular Recreational dating. He gives us the basic question to ask ourselves while dating, he explains the dating deficit and profers a way to fix the situation by introducing the 90 days of 'Intentional friendship' to see if dating would be a good idea.

Does it need to end?

Some relationship may be more liabilities than assets.

What do you do if dating is going nowhere or it is not meant to be? This chapter gives a foolproof plan to know when to stop dating a person, how to end it in three steps and most importantly how to trust God with the process.

Surrender your Sexuality

Does your sexuality own you? or does God own you? 

Mike Todd is one of the pastors I have heard preach about sex and goes on to say sex is God's idea. He paints a picture of exactly sex mean, explains why it is important to wait till marriage before you have sex. He also encourages you to surrender your sexuality to God so that He helps you keep yourself.

All tied up

Maybe you thought it was one night that you would forget, but...

You get to see how powerful soul ties can be and how important it is to keep yourself. He explains the importance of safe sex and allows you to see a vivid picture of what happens when sex occurs outside marriage. What if there are soul ties, you ask. Mike Todd gives practical steps on how to put an end to it and how to leverage your soul tie with christ.

The Triangle

Marriage is a reflection of the relationship God has with the Church.

This is where the talk on marriage starts. What marriage means according to the Christian faith, what is God's plan for marriage and how do we go about it. He also explains the types of marriage that you can see in the church and how everything revolve around the progression of a romantic relationship.

Source: Pinterest

Major Keys to Successful Marriage

Marriage is the most appealing relationship on Earth, but it requires hard work and sacrifice.

In the ninth chapter of the book, Mike Todd teams up with his wife Natalie to explain how to have and keep a successful marriage by sharing the keys to a successful Christian marriage with the spotlight on their marriage.

Conclusion: Bull's eye

 You're not putting your trust in yourself but in God.

In this bonus chapter, Mike Todd goes over all the point he has made earlier in the book, reminds us to put our faith in God and turn to Jesus so that we can start winning in relationships.

My thoughts

    This is one book I wish I had before I started dating and I would recommend it to every young person to read and apply, alongside the youtube series, Relationship goals and Relationship goals reloaded. Reading this book took me through a series of emotion but it gave me a game plan on how to reach my relationship goals now. While the main attention of the book is a progression into marriage, it is easy to mirror how to relate better in other relationships I find myself in.

The way the book was written is even more exciting, with the lyrics from different artiste, stories about people and bible characters, some lines from the book in quotes and most especially the special box in the book that allows you to stop, take a deep breath and process what is going on especially when you feel overwhelmed. I will read this book again and when I start intentional dating, it would be one of the things to do during the 90 days. 

I hope you check out the book.

Do you have any book recommendation for me? Let me know. 

You can reach me at theestherian@gmail.com.

Welcome to August,

Have a beautiful week.

The Estherian