Good Things Fall Apart

    Have you ever had a beautiful friendship come to a halt after a long time apart without prior disagreement or dispute but everything seems to have fallen apart and you are just another familiar face in the crowd? Maybe it was with someone you consider as your significant other but you can't point out any wrongdoing instead all the memories of the times spent together brings a smile to your face and all you can remember is the joy and happiness around?
Are you like me, jumping into this with the resolve to fix and piece everything back to the way it was because of a preconceived notion that if something is good, it is supposed to last forever without much regard to the external factors and the other person?

I took two weeks off social media and people in an attempt to declutter my headspace and as an escape from the constant news that is overwhelming and maybe a bit triggering to me. I am currently learning about forgiveness at Transformation Church, going through my school work and somehow pushing everything I have to do away trying to get my act and self together because I have to be responsible for my life. Amid everything I have going on, I came to a realization and it started with something I heard in a song.

I’m coming to terms with a broken heart,
I guess that sometimes good things fall apart.

Good things fall apart

Illenium feat. Jon Bellion

The first thing I wrote after playing this song over again is this;

“I would love to create an ending that is fitting a beautiful experience that I might have begun to taint because I didn’t want to accept how things are going and I wanted it to stay that way forever.”

My primal instinct is to dig up things trying to find out what went wrong, who did something they weren’t supposed to and if nothing comes up I blame myself. I listen to that silly voice that tells me lies to me that I messed up and I am destroying a good thing. In all, it is exhausting and a bit melodramatic. I tried maybe a bit too desperate to fix things but they were not broken, I guess I missed or ignored it, maybe I thought about myself alone, maybe that friendship ended because I moved away and it fell apart despite our plans of meeting up or trying to stay in touch with each other. 

These lines were on a repeat in my head for the rest of the week and the realization it brought provided me rest. By rest, I mean an acceptance of how things are now and how my meddling can do no good because the circumstances are out of my hand and out of my control. I  know it feels unfair and wrong even that something good be it a friendship or a relationship that brought so much ends up disintegrating, it feels unfair to become an outsider to people that once feel like home especially when there is nothing tangible to blame except distance or perhaps a lack of communication and a whole of unspoken expectation. But the thing is I am left with memories to forever hold and treasure because a reconnection doesn’t work any longer.

Source: butterfliesrising.com

The point to all this is good things fall apart be it friendship, relationship, family or a dream job and all we have at the end are just memories. A piece of advice I wished I had earlier this year is; let it go, release it, you can’t fix what isn’t broken and it is alright if good things fall apart because they do sometimes but the experiences and memories would always remain with you to cherish and be grateful for. Don’t hold on too long because you will deny yourself the time to prepare for things still to come.

So now, I am learning to hold myself back from trying to fix everything and know the things to fight for and those to let go. I am praying for the ability to differentiate between the two. I would end this with something that I heard from a friend sharing her story.

You are not Bob the Builder, you can’t fix everything.

Going on to important and pressing matters, please lend your voice and sọrọ soke (speak up) against Police brutality. Following the news concerning the protest, there is a joy in my heart as people are come together to fight against a common enemy and I have so much faith in humanity because of this. Join the physical protest and if you are unable to, join the online protest on Twitter and other social media or donate to the cause.

Lekki, Lagos State
Source: Twitter

Have a beautiful week,

The Estherian