End Of Year Review
As we are about to wrap the year up, I have decided to review the year and ask a few questions like what were my plans for the year, how did I fare by the end of the year, what can I do better next year, and what have I learnt about accountability? I am going to try and divide this into a personal review and the blog review and do a quick summary at the end to ensure nobody misses anything, myself included. Also, I am going to be a lot gentle with myself because I didn’t see most of what happened to me coming. With that being said, let’s dive right into it.
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| Photo by Monstera Source: pexels.com |
This is the mid-year review for the blog so that you will have an idea of where we were and the direction of where we should have been by the end of the year. I know, giving excuses for why you didn’t follow through with a plan can be a sign of irresponsibility but I have valid reasons for how things turned out, trust me. I would start by reporting that my laptop and phone screen broke in November and that is why I was lost in transmission. I was still writing but I was unable to upload until I sorted things out which I guess explain the absence from me in November. I did mention that most of what I was going to put up was going to be under the check-in label and I am tired of that. Peter’s Award anyone?!
I am so glad about the way the first season of the conversation series turned out and if you read the finale, you will notice I ended it on a sort of cliffhanger (did I?), so yes that would be continued next year. One thing I am not certain about is how it is going to be continued, either as The Conversation Series on the blog or it will be absorbed into the podcast that would be launched next year with Zita which if I am being honest would prefer it to remain its own thing. Now that I have mentioned the podcast, I am not certain when the first episode would be out, but once it is, you will be notified.
Before you raise your torches and pitchforks and proceed to start up a riot, I am deeply and sincerely sorry that I didn’t do anything under Playful Panda Present. Something came up and I had to divert the funds for this project, so that is the reason there is no lookbook of the constructed garment up right now. I did illustrate the collection, again with everything that happened as the year was coming to an end, I didn’t remember to put it up. Also, I decided to have this minimal approach with the designs and I believe they turned out rather dull if you are not comparing them to the finished garment. I am so sorry, I fumbled with this one so badly. I am scared to say I will make it up to you but I intend to and this time around, I will not do a major project but it would be on a smaller scale and should be much more sustainable.
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| One of the illustrations that I didn't put up |
So moving into the new year, I am going to be fluid with my plans, which translates into I do as much as I can and put it up once it is ready. I am not going to promise anything big or grand and end up flopping as bad as I did this year. So there is not going to be any major goal for the year per se but I intend to put something on the blog every month at least. I still can’t believe I made a liar of myself.
I am going to start with this, healthy eating is in the mud. No, I didn’t eat more this year, I didn't even maintain the weight I started the year with y’all, and I am ashamed to say I didn’t put in as much effort as I should have. Please pray for me, this love-hate relationship with food needs to stop. What is funnier than me not being able to eat as much food as my body need is that I have become more selective with the food and where I can eat. Although I tried out new flavours, new dishes, it was still not working. At this point, I don’t have any food plan again, I am just going to accept that I don’t eat as much as I should and I can’t help it.
At the beginning of the year, I started the use your word campaign, midway through the year, I forgot about it. And as the year ends, I am still struggling to communicate with people. I have become a bit scared of the possibility of having a deep heart to heart conversation with some people. I found outlets for those words and thought that I am unable to express. It is easier talking to strangers and also writing down something just to get them off my mind. But I need to let people know and I don’t know why I am scared of anything that would open me up to new experiences and possibilities. I guess some answers still elude me. But on a lighter note, I have not been acting out as much as I usually do. Also, I have begun to take responsibility for the way I feel about things and try to handle them instead of suppressing my feelings.
Another thing I mentioned in my new year resolution was balance. I was going to work on balancing the different parts of my life. I will give myself a 7.5 out of 10 when it comes to how well I handled it. As the year is running out, I am not as overwhelmed by stuff to do as I normally would, I have things sorted out according to the time they are supposed to be, I am not lagging anywhere and most importantly, I have enough time to rest. When faced with so much to do, the first thing I do is rest, take a power nap and it allows me to be able to focus on the task at hand. Although, there are still some things I had to file away because I believe the timing is not right and I hope whenever I get to pick them up again, I will be able to balance it well.
I said your 20’s is about defining who you are, and one of the things I needed to learn is that it is ok to change your mind. Oh wait, you know that already? That is nice. I am trying to accept that and I am working on it. I hope to be a little more flexible and not fickle-minded. I hate to be fickle-minded. At the concluding part of the new year resolution I made, I mentioned that I am taking an extended break from relationships and all other related affairs, but towards the end of the year, I changed my mind. I am not in any relationship now, but I am not going to deny myself the possibility of being with someone if I can because of a decision I made at a time I felt low and believed changing my mind is a sign of being fickle-minded. As the year progresses, you experience a lot of things and it causes you to reevaluate your decisions, to see things in a different light and from a new perspective. When I made that decision I believed I was doing what was right for me, but now, I don’t think it is. And that too is Ok.
It is almost 2022 and I am back at my drawing board trying to decide what is going to be and what is not going to be on it. For the blog, I don’t have anything set in stone, except the podcast. There is an idea I am toying with and I don’t know what will become of it but I want to do a bit of phone photography(trust me, it is a thing) and the direction I am going for is something I saw once on a friend's status. I am going to title it, Life Through Rose Tinted Lens(not an original title) or whatever shade of lens I would be using and probably have it under the Playful Panda Presents label. And for myself, I plan on taking a few courses to work on my skills(it is time to join Skillshare), try to get a job(as a source of extra income and also a means to leave the house), do a bit of volunteering(I have no idea how to go about this), pay more attention to my finances(I need to give up the Sinzu way), and be more.
There is a line from one of AJR’s songs, “should I go for more clicks this year, or should I follow the click in my head?”, and it is stuck in my head. I guess I will find out and I hope you will be here to see how I turn out, and how 2022 turns out.
I guess it is a wrap. This is my last post for 2021 and I am not sure how to feel about it. This is the third part of a three-part mini-series. The first part is Lessons From 2021, the second part is A Homage To 2021. You should check it out.
I pray I get to see 2022 with all of you in it.
I pray I get to be more and do more.
Happy New Year in Advance.
With all the love in my heart,
The Estherian.
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