01: Reset

2023
I would like to welcome you into the new year. 
I know I am probably late to the party but I was away, it was the holidays after all. 
I spent it with my family this year and it was nice. I was called a snob by someone who was meeting me for the first time and that wasn't cool. 

Photo Credit: Ivan Samkov
Source: pexels.com

Last year, I didn’t have any new year resolutions or expectations for the year and the year turned out the same way I am turning out. I am not sure how much sense that made but again 2022, didn’t make a lot of sense.
In all, I tried to make it work. I put in the work whenever possible and am grateful the year didn’t turn out terribly.  But enough about 2022, this is not the post for it. If you are interested in learning how my year went, check out my end-of-the-year review.
 
But as the year was winding down, I had time to assess where I am and how far it is from where I hoped to be. I did a bit of evaluation and there are a few things I am looking forward to in this new year. Now in a bid to prevent unnecessary pressure, I am doing away with new year resolutions and timelines, and instead taking the liberty to list out the things I would like to accomplish in the course of the year. The difference between both things is ease, something I want for myself this year.
 
So here is my To-do list.

1. Graduate from medical school hopefully with a distinction in Surgery. 
2. Other People’s Shoes Podcast Season 2: Final year Medilogue 
3. House Job.
4. Become more financially responsible.
5. Document everything; pictures, videos, random notes.
6. Start my company, a company centred on storytelling.
7. Wrap up The Estherian Blog.

I am at a place where I feel I can no longer handle any form of drama and my personal life has had too much drama in the past year. I need to protect the sanctity of my innerverse. 2023 is going to present me with a lot of new opportunities and I plan to be prepared for most of them. 

And that’s why I named this reset. 2023 is going to be an overhaul of who I am.
This year is going to be the healthiest I have ever been. This year is going to find me in a more meaningful relationship with people regardless of the forms they present themselves. I am going to give up all my self-destructive ways and try my possible best to be healthy. I am going to laugh a lot this year. I am going to host sleepovers and game nights. I am going to have a birthday party, by God’s grace.   That was going to be the plan until the new year. 

The first of January came with a gut wrenching truth, and for the first half of this year, I am going to do what I always wished for. I am going to disappear. I wish I had money and I was done with medical school, I could have impulsively decided to extend my vacation, and travel to a new place but I can’t. Ins,tead, I am going to delete my Whatsapp and eliminate contact with people, except when absolutely necessary; school and final year project.
 
It changes other things too, the supposed big project I was supposed to do on the podcast. But it is for the best, I have let my fears deal with me in the past and there is no other time to deal with my fears than right now. I am still going to be writing and uploading on my blog, but you have to be actively checking the blog to know if I put anything up, same with the podcast. At least if you subscribe to the podcast, you get a notification when I drop something new. In other words, subscribe.

Another thing that requires a complete overhaul is my blog itself. 
For a long while, I have been trying to figure out how to merge my blog and podcast into one thing. I have also been looking for a way to become more serious. In all honesty, working on the blog and learning how to be consistent has been amazing, but seeing how much effect my mental health can have on this made me do a little rethink. I had to ask myself what is the future of this blog and how well can it translate into the next part of my life. 

I realised; 1) I want to continue telling stories in whatever form I can experiment with, 2) I want to create a community where other people can do the same, and 3) It is impossible to launch that without a custom domain name. Also, I feel the current blog name is restrictive to the things I can do, and the stories I would like to tell no longer fit into the image I have conjured up with this blog.

I am not sure when my last post would be up, but I am thinking sometime after my induction. I have to discuss with my current team to decide what to do with the blog and its content. And in the time between wrapping up the blog and launching the company, I might continue writing on Medium or Substack. 
As for my podcast episodes, I am going to leave them where they are. 

2023 is going to be a great year, and I see it already.
On that note, I am dedicating this song to myself.
It’s You by Ali Gatie.

Cheers🥂

Until next time,

The Estherian💛💛