07: The Good Part

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Have I done my best here, or

So, as I mentioned in the last post, or for anyone following the Nigerian online space, it is election season. The presidential election was held on February 25, 2023, and wasn’t peaceful in most parts of the country. This is the first election I am vested in because I am a first-time voter. I did my best to inform people with my platform, I had a candidate I was supporting, I made mention of it in one of my podcast episodes, and I influenced my parents. 

I was unable to vote though; my dad asked me to come back home because he was scared of the way the elections were going to turn out and I was too far from home. So I had no other choice but to return to Ogun State and chill at home. My reasoning was along the lines of honouring your parents, and now I wonder, I should have preempted the possibility of this happening; I should have chosen a polling unit closer to my parent’s house, and now I ask, did I really do my best?

Will I be here next year, or
Are these my best years yet? 

I considered the very fact that if all things had gone according to the program, I might never have had to choose between travelling home or going to vote. 

The results are trickling into the INEC National Collation Center, with a lot of discrepancies. There is enough evidence of the results being heavily rigged, and maybe we can borrow something from Donald J. Trump and ask them to stop the count. The INEC chairman isn’t listening to people's voiced concerns, Dino Melaye was somehow on our side yesterday, demanding that the PU results be shown on the screen alongside the collated results so that the discrepancies can be spotted and rightfully addressed. And I was left to wonder, in between nursing a headache, will I be here next year, or are these my best years yet? 

Are the Nigerian people going to one day mention how we fought against the electoral commission and demanded our elections be rerun, or is it going to be one of those decisions that get torn down with violence like the ENDSARS protest that ended with the deaths of well-meaning Nigerians? Would I be forced to abandon my country because it was delivered to the wrong person? 

If you put this scene on a movie screen
Is it called a happy end?

What determines a happy end? My mother has tried to calm my anxious nerves by telling me that regardless of what happens in the elections, God has got me. I have tried mentioning that my nerves aren’t only frayed by what happens to me but by what happens to us all. What happens to the state of our nation, to the millions of people living in this country? What happens to people that Nigeria has happened to? What happens to those Nigeria is yet to happen to? 

The scene in itself is so messy, and bloody. I am getting too anxious seeing the news and having a lot of footage of armed military personnel. I have said multiple times that I like order and the general chaos is killing my spirit, I am not sure how well I can fight.

It's so hard
Can we skip to the good part?

I think it was in 2021, while I was navigating a terrible mental space, that I mentioned to Jeremiah that I would like to just disappear to a time when everything made sense. He explained that I would be doing myself a great disservice by doing that. We don’t just skip to the good part. 

And now, I don’t want to skip to the good part. I have been able to watch my younger brother (a first-time voter) be so engrossed with politics, right from turning up at his polling unit to following the collation of the results. If you want to know what is going on, just ask my little bro. It is refreshing to see, and I am here for it. I am here for all the tweets, all the banter, the collective hope, and the rejection of the rigged results. I love that the youth are at the forefront. But as a country, maybe we should collectively press "skip."

These things take time
Mom and dad, they have a good life
But, what am I gonna do with mine?

The lyrics are from AJR, The Good Part. 
I played it a lot in the past year, and when I started to struggle with finding an outlet for all the anger and frustration bubbling inside, I saw a line from the song on my Twitter TL this morning, and I was able to find an appropriate outlet. 

As we collectively await the election results and the court process that will follow, ensure you do your very best to vote in the gubernatorial elections coming up in March.

Until next time,
The Estherian💛💛

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