Identifying Here

At Transformation Church, the word of the year, or rather phrase of the year is “Here Is Holy” and for the past weeks, Pastor Mike Todd has been teaching what that means. On the 3rd week of the sermon series, he asked us to identify where Here is. 

I think it is human to want to escape from uncomfortable situations, to always be caught up in the facade of better days ahead. We are always trying to run away from here and according to PM, we tolerate it. If I can be honest, I don't want to be here.

Here is: scary, lonely, being everyone's friends and having no companion, emotionally draining, exhausting, filled with uncertainty. Here feels like a valley, like the lowest place I have been, even if it is not. It is not pretty here. 

And maybe we are right too because the days ahead devalue here. The days ahead of us make us look down on here. Soon, I am going to be a doctor(there) and that makes being a student(here) less than. Being a doctor will forever be better than being a student, and you will understand why I will rather be there than here. But even though I look ahead to being a doctor, I must first become a student. This translates into, here might not be what I need it to be, here might not be as interesting as there, but here is a very important part of there. Without it, there cannot exist.

At the same time, Here is a place to be grateful, to understand that every day is not by my strength, to be secure in the knowledge that God holds me through it all, to know God can save and deliver me. Here is the place for new beginnings, to try new things and to be brave.

But here is tough regardless and has its challenges, more often than not, here is overwhelming. Something I have mentioned once is this, whatever you run away from, you teach your mind to identify as dangerous. So with the constant need to get away from here, I have begun to fear here. I had to pause to realize one thing, though, I prayed for here. I realized sometime last week that I have started everything I planned to do with my life. It might not look like it right now, right here, but it has started, the rest of my life has started. I prayed to be here because whatever "here" is, it used to be my "there". I am in my days of little beginnings, and somehow I never fully understood what here was going to be like way back. And now, I don't think I can handle being here. 

But if there is one thing I need to do, is to continue moving and not get stuck. And to continue moving is to:

1. It is to become available here.
With the way I see here and feel about here, it is easier for me to just pull back, keep myself in my walls and show up when needed. It is easier to not do what God has asked of me, to be occupied with complaining about here so that when there is a chance to do something else and make here better, I will never be prepared to take it.

2. It is to be vulnerable here. 
I might have never mentioned it before, but I am always on self-preservation mode by default. I have mastered building walls, and I subconsciously make it difficult to let people in. PM said your walls not only keep people out, but it keeps God out also. I need a deeper relationship with God and if I can start from there, if I can get to a point where I can tell God just about anything, overlooking the fact that he knows everything, maybe I can learn to be vulnerable with other people.

3. It is to be able to feel here. 
Possibly even worse than wanting not to be here is, wanting not to feel whatever here demands of us. It is trying to escape feeling hurt or feeling down, it is trying to escape the sadness here has brought, it is believing that all you have to feel are “good” emotions. But I want to add this, it is denying yourself every “good” emotion because you don't feel like you deserve it. Be sensitive to here, feel what here has to offer, be open or accepting of here and at the end of it all, be a conduit. Allow everything to flow through you. I think bundling up your emotions and stuffing them inside without creating an outlet for it will destroy you, eventually.

I am here and God is with me.

Because God is here,

Here is Holy.

So what do you think, have you attempted to identify Here?

Have you defined the parameters of here, and what do you intend to do now you are here?
Check out the message series here. You can reach me by sending a message to theestherian@gmail.com. As always, have a blessed week.

With Love, 

The Estherian