THE ESTHERIAN BLOG

            I am sitting in my room this Saturday evening, listening to Meghan Trainor's Treat Myself and I want to just talk about trust. How many times have you ever had to hold on to just what someone says like that is the only assurance you have? How many times have you gotten angry that people did not keep to their words and most importantly how many times have you been the person not keeping to your words? Trust (N) Confidence in or reliance on some person or quality That upon which confidence is reposed, ground of reliance; hope Trustworthiness, reliability.        The thing is that over time, I have noticed that all people can count on at times is what you tell them and how much you keep to it. We get offended if people make promises to us and don't keep them when that delivery is just delayed with no reason whatever but most times we tend to forget if we have the same issue.  I am actually no longer surprised when...

source: twitter

source: Pinterest, new maps illustrated by Ed Fairburn . Identity (N): The difference of character that marks off an individual from the rest of the same kind, selfhood. A name or persona -the mask or appearance one presents to the world- by which one is known. Sense of who one is. For the longest time, I was comfortable being fluid and quite content in being anyone for anybody; the quiet girl, the storyteller, the mischief, the brilliant student, the rude person next door, the crazy girl, the lover and all the while, it became a little easier to trick my mind to create a false identity and gradually, a mixup occurred and I became unaware of the truth about my identity. It is like all the voices in my head came alive and began to pull me apart and finally I realised I don't know who I am. Yeah, I know it is crazy and extremely sad to lose your identity - a sense of who you are- because it allows for someone else to define that for you, you fade away into the shadows and ...

In Quarantine: Lessons from my Father.     It is the end of the 5th week of my self Isolation/ lock down, and one of the greatest blessings of this is the time I have been able to share with the people I love, my family. I moved away from home for University, and it has not been easy spending quite a lot of time with them either away or together because of different schedules and all other things. My dad is one of my favourite people to be with and lately I just sit close to him in his own office and watch him work, and some other times he shares a lot of his story with me, his regrets, his mistake and also his joys.  One of the sources of my Identity is my father because I love to tell people how much of a daddy's girl I am and also how much I see myself in my father (yeah, most of my excessive behaviour is from him). So I decided to share a few of the things my father has taught me.     On life.  LIFE IS SHORT.  Yeah, this is one of th...

AN EASTER REFLECTION The most important Christian celebration to me has to be Easter, it is more than just the resurrection of Jesus Christ or the the important foundation of the Christian faith; that Jesus died,, was buried and rose from the dead on the third day. It means more than just that to me, it in addition to the above Easter tells me a story of love, a story of Strength and above all it gives me hope that there is a chance of rebirth no matter what happens.     The story of love that Easter teaches me is that, even if I feel worthless or inadequate, Christ loved me enough to go to Calvary (for me). The journey to Calvary was not an easy one, he was humiliated, bruised and battered still he realised that he needed to bring me close to him so that I can draw nearer and that caused him to go the extra mile for my sake ( well for us all). In the midst of the COVID 19 pandemic, there is a national lock down which caused us to celebrate Easter at home instead ...

Fear a midnight rant from a broken soul... Fear, the one force that holds man still and the feeling so gripping that all you do is think about what would happen once that moment pass away, we tell ourselves if only this moves, if this cup pass over me, when that is achieved we begin to dread it occurring again till we become trapped in a mindless circle. Since I met you, I have gone through all the stages I think is humanly possible, the initial attraction, the lust, the love and finally the fear. I always seek control of things around me, I am terribly scared of events I can't control and responses that might break me apart still all I care about is you, to be totally yours and for you to be mine but I am constantly reminded that you own things not humans, that you control things not people and things might not be as bad as I pretend it would be but you know what fears does my love, it is a constant force that keeps me buried.  Maybe my fear has become my comfort, ...

THE GIRL WITH A THOUSAND FACES. I know a girl that wore a thousand faces, faces that she would slip on and off to match the situation that she finds herself in, what everyone doesn't know is that all her thousand faces look exactly the same to the outside, but inside, they are never the same except for when she calls them. Her story is a very peculiar one, who wants to hide what you see everyday you ask, but she has learnt that most times the best way to hide is in plain sight, right in front of them and somehow you would never notice. Just so I don’t confuse you, let's call these faces 'persona'. The face everyone sees is the primary face, and the use of this persona is to create an entrance, someone everyone knows, she is the mask and the main disguise. The beautiful thing about her is that everyone knows her and she keeps the others secret safe. She can be attractive when she wants to be or she can choose not to be but for most instances, she is friendly. If ...